grays and blues

Part 1.
Dear ones of the south.

who transformed me from floating corpse of emptiness and flipped me right side up.
For letting me dance silly in your living rooms and letting me laugh at all your jokes from the passenger seat, for helping me move and going for walks and dragging me to the beach and walking me home after too much drinking and feeding me all your yummy, for letting me sit on your couch for what seemed like entire weeks watching TV, for visiting me out in the woods when I spent 6 hours tying things to the trees and playing with the wind and almost got a ticket for littering, or siting in our booth at the Live wire and pumping the jukebox full,for frozen yogurt nights and crazy artsy evenings, for showing me your secret room built on top of your kitchen, for rainy barbecues with your family and 4th of july on the rez with your graff crew, for driving me in old trucks and exploring the secrets of Balboa park and for all those ridiculously long bike rides ( 30 miles ). ugh, you know that last 5 miles up 5th wouldn't have happened if you didn't get off your bike and walk with me for that one block. For playing your best records loud. For letting me cry whenever I needed, For the sneak thievery, For talking shit when it needed to be talked, for taking me to the mexican restaurant just to sit at the bar and eat tortilla chips and salsa. For bringing me cashmere cardigans with pockets, oh you dearies know me so well.

There isn't a package big enough to send my gratitude and love to you, it would have to be delivered by large flocks of birds, the winds would have to help and the clouds too. It would be so big the hot air balloons of Del Mar would get caught.

Part 2.

Nothing seems to make me happier than messy desk tops, with paints opened and dirty water in tuna cans and paper scraps and dried smeary messes of acrylics and spilled india ink and tiny pencils scattered about with 5 pairs of scissors going from lost to found to lost again. I've got this new job that blows my mind with niceties. yesterday was my first full day and the sunset from our office is unreal. the wild things creep up at the edges of our security lamps and watch us lock the windows and gather our coats.
drawings are happening, a few at a time, and the momentum is nice. The new ideas send out satellites of other ideas and then those ideas topple into completely new things, and oh it's a miracle to make something that never existed before, I dreamt it and created it with my hands, it is an eternal moment. I can look at my hands and be transported to first man (woman) state.

I sang a lot in the car today, by myself with no music, just singing and listening to my voice. It made me feel sweet.

I found a magic bike this past month. Z. and I were at the thrift as usual, I saw the Brookes saddle first. we dragged it out of the corner, Z. inspected it in his approving way ( I love his approving way) It has fenders and a chain guard and is army green and it is an old Raleigh. We paid 25 dollars for it and struggled for 20 minutes just to get it into the car. Z. struggled I may have just gotten in the way. It's my official Modesto bike and even though the tires need to be replaced and I haven't even ridden it yet I'm having dreams in which I'm riding it.

I could go for wooden shoes full of oranges and chocolate coins right now.

Send me your grays and blues