don't take yourself so seriously

How are you feeling today?
I don't think I have swine flu, but I do have weird headaches and slight dizziness and a pain in my ear and jaw that happens when the weather changes in any way in SD. And my muscles feel sore.

So are you taking it easy?
Yes, I have the whole weekend off, I was supposed to work today but left early after it started to get hot and I was feeling feverish, and I was tired of going to the bathroom every 10 minutes, it's hard to teach kids about tracking mammals when you have to pee all the time. Did you know that you can see cat pee with a black light? I read that today.

No I didn't know that. Are you afraid you have cat pee in your apartment?
no, Meg is basically the best cat ever. oh and some guy told me all kinds of weird facts about ground squirrels today, like they chew up the skin of rattle snakes and rub it all over their fur so they smell like a rattle snake in their hole, and that they can increase the blood flow to their tail so snakes are confused.

So what did you do today?
I don't really want to tell you.

What is your favorite thing to do?
well when I'm not feeling crappy I like to ride my bike, I also like re arranging my house. I spend a lot of time recently thinking about the artwork I'm not making and beating myself up about things. I also spend a lot of time inside, basically because san diego is the same every single day and I don't feel like I'm missing much.

What kinds of things do you beat yourself up about?
oh, you know, not exercising enough, being an asshole, thinking about boys, not thinking about grad school, not having my shit together, being 29, taking things for granted, not practicing my ukelele. oh, wait this is not my favorite thing to do, it's just what happens in my head. I think I spend too much time in my head. oh and I read too much, it's almost obsessively occupying my head. maybe I should get a TV.

What would you like to talk about tomorrow?
umm, maybe my artwork, it's very important to me. It's all consuming.